Jack Kevorkian

I will never be a man. I am incapable of it, since I had no father. I am a piece of shit, and if by some miracle a female ever had sex with me, and I impregnated her, I would be a scumbag of a father. I am the type of person who is a cancer on the world, and I don't even want to be anything positive in this world. Somebody please needs to just come kill me and rid the world of one more cell of cancer. I am too much of a coward to do anything by my own will, because of how much of a piece of shit I am. I don't want what the world would consider help in this situation. All I want is to die. If any of my messages here are interpreted as wanting help, in the world's sense of psychiatric help, you're wrong. My version of help is to give me death. I want a slow and painful death, because of all of the pain I've cause everyone over the years.

Tricycles are for losers

I really want to die. Can anyone kill me please?

The smelliest farts

I want to inject apple juice directly into my bloodstream.

Nobody But Me

Don't go makin' potato pies without my company

Lighters

The little metal piece that acts as a child-deterrent on a BiC lighter is called a crotch

Horses are stupid

I think the word "horse" should be spelled "whorse," because they are a bunch of stupid spoiled whores.

My aura

If I ever see a burning building, I will enter it, and anyone trapped inside will see me walking towards them with a protective aura around me protecting me from the fire. My clothes won't even burn.

Macroscope?

Why in the world are lenses for cameras to shoot small object up close called macro lenses?  You don't look at small stuff through a macroscope!  Macro- is the opposite of micro-.

Neon colors

Neon is a chemical element.  A gas, not a color.  If people still want to [incorrectly] apply it to a color, it could at least be neon orange.

The formula of crotches

This is the formula of crotches.  The formula solves how many crotches something has, where x equals the number of legs something has.


x(x-1)
2

Top front teeth gap

People with a gap between their two top front teeth are alcoholics.

Sandals and flip flops

There should be a law that legally changes your gender to female if you wear sandals or flip flops.

Unicycles

Unicycles are for idiots.  So are pogo sticks and stilts.

Gangrene

The other night I had this crazy crazy dream and it's affecting my brain more than others in the past.


I was in my room and it was dark.  I was trying to change settings on a surround sound receiver because it was staying on even though it was off.  I look down at my arm and it looks all anorexic.  I get into some light and from my shoulder to my elbow my arm is all gangrenous.  The triceps and all that skin are gone, and the skin on the biceps side is already black and peeling away.  A muscle and blood vein must have been still alive because everything on my forearm was OK and I could use my fingers, and I could move my forearm with my biceps.  So I go outside to the garage and ask my friends brother if he can take me to the hospital and he is refusing because he is too busy.  Then I wonder where my car is to find out his mom took it.  She comes pulling up returning home, and hits a curb, going like 2 mph and flips my car.  I flip out, and she gets all pissed at me for being pissed, despite my arm being almost gone.  Then I get my keys back and I drop them on the side of the street where water is flowing from rain and my keys float away.  She gets them and throws them at me.  So I venture back towards my car and I keep seeing random 5, 10, 20, 50, and 100 dollar bills floating in the gutter and in people's yards, so I figure I gotta get my arm amputated, I might as well consider this money mine, I'm gonna need it.  Then I head back towards my car and a bunch of hood rats are arguing with guns, but they leave me alone.  I go to start my car and that's when I wake up for real.


I have dreams a lot about nuclear war and they're disturbing, but this is weird and I'm paranoid about my arm contracting some kind of infection and rotting off.  I went and looked for pictures of gangrenous limbs and my dream pretty much seemed really realistic and graphic, and I never saw any imagery of that before in any form.

The Animal Kingdom

I am sick of how animals are classified.  It is too confusing with all the Greek names.  I have a simple way of classifying things.  Anything that flies will be a bird.  Anything on land will be animal.  Anything that swims is a fish.  It will also be dependent on where that creature is at said time.  If a bird is walking on land it will then be an animal.  An otter on land would be an animal, but a fish when it is in water.  Simple.